Gift of Pacifiers

A little background
Her pediatrician told us that the pacifier (paci as it's known around here) had to go at age 3. Her birthday is months away, but we've been laying the foundation for this transition for months.

Pacis are for babies, and she is a big girl now, we tell her.

When we see babies out in restaurants with pacis in their mouths, we gently point out that the baby has a paci to help keep calm because they don't have words, but we have words to express our concerns and help us when we are sad, so we don't need pacis anymore. We tell her what a big girl she is and how we're so proud of her for being a big girl etcetera, etcetera.

For the past few weeks, she started to ask me with a sense of dread in her voice, "Do we have to give the pacis to the babies today?"

"No," I tell her, "not today, but when you are ready, you will know that it's time and you can tell me."

Sunday morning she woke up and asked about the pacis again. I told her, we can get it, but you know that pacis are for babies and when the time is right, we'll need to give yours to the babies. She looked up at me and said, "it's time."

Now, I've been prepared that this will be a long process, so I'm patient about it. I think she may be bluffing. To see if she's serious, I suggest we round up all of the pacis in the house. An egg hunt ensues under furniture, in toy bins. "I found one!" She would say from another room. We put them all in a ziplock bag. She said she wanted Daddy to take them to the babies, but when he started to put his coat on, she looked serious and said, "I'm going with you."

A. knows that babies are delivered at the hospital. In fact, this was a hotly contested issue at Christmas when we read accounts of the birth of Christ - a home birth, or rather an inn birth - and she would balk. "That's silly. Babies born at hospital Mommy."

So, prepared for this kind of cross examination, I call the hospital maternity ward where she was born and ask if there was a window where she can look in at the babies and hand the bag off to a nurse. There is no more viewing window, she explains, but come to the floor and they will figure something out.

So, we get the bag of pacis and head to the hospital.




On the elevator. You can see the bag of pacis including red dog paci in her left hand.

A nurse greets us and after some explanation, she's still confused until she sees A. peek around the counter, bag of pacis and pigtails, and she understands.

We follow her. She goes into the room of an about-to-be-released little family who she was on her way to see to talk about nail trimming and such. I remember this nurse and it seems like 10 minutes ago she was giving us the same lecture.

She explains to the couple that a little girl would like to give her pacis to their baby and asks if it is okay if A. sees the baby from the hallway.

This couple is SO gracious. I can't even tell you. They are beaming. The nurse was holding their new little baby boy born on Friday. Mom comes to the door to catch a peek at A. Then A. bravely hands the daddy her bag of pacis for their baby boy to have.
We are all (including the nurses) holding back tears.
Except A.
It is the sweetest moment.
Too sweet to photograph and I didn't want to intrude.
Then the daddy follows us down the hall and asks for our address so that their baby boy can write us a thank you note.
Can you imagine? So sweet.


Leaving the hospital. "No more pacis!"

We take her out to lunch where she orders her food herself from the server.
"Hot dog and frenfries please."
When he returns to the table to ask if we need anything, she answers,
"No. I good."


On the way home.

A. brings so much love to so many lives. It is such a blessing to be one of them.


Photo by A.