Cup of Kindness

For weeks those words, "we'll take a cup of kindness yet" from Auld Lang Syne have been stopping by in my thoughts here and there.

I write this blog as a place we can go when we have a moment to unwind and I hope that in it, you also find kindness to put in your cup. I certainly feel blessed by your kindness for reading.



I fear that in 2008, I was spread very thin and only gave espresso shot-sized cups of kindness. I almost forgot to be kind to myself entirely. My hope is that 2009 will be open bar for cups of kindness. Kindness for you and for me, too.



The latest Oprah magazine may be the best issue I've read in years. It has great recommendations for so many things. But what I love most of all about the issue is this candid quote where she writes:

"I have a self-care problem...When I stop and ask myself, What am I really hungry for? the answer is always I'm hungry for balance, I'm hungry to do something other than work. If you look at your overscheduled routine and realize, like I did, that you're just going and going and that your work and obligations have become a substitute for life, then you have no one else to blame. Only you can take the reigns back.

That's what I'm doing. These days I've put myself back on my own priority list...In 2009 dare I, dare all of us give ourselves all the love and care we need to be healthy, to be well, and to be whole?"

Amen.
Ahh, but it is so very hard to execute. I found a quote in my journal written down almost this time last year from Dr. Wayne Dyer:

"By giving yourself free time to read, meditate, exercise and walk with nature, you're inviting the guidance that's waiting patiently to come calling with inspirational messages."

And not to mention the health benefits, both mental and physical.

So, I'm going to try to do a little better in the self-care department and I'm starting by breaking open a bottle of bubbly...

from philosophy, that is.

Whatever our dreams are for our lives this year, let's remind ourselves that anything is possible, particularly when there are bubbles.

happy new you.

In The Details

One of my favorite Christmas gifts I received this year is this little book, A Year of Mornings, taken from the amazing blog 3191.


I've written about them here several times, but if you haven't already, bookmark their new site for a year of evenings in the making.

The book is so lovely and I adore the dotted swiss part of the cover. It's a textual experience. In the forward, one of the authors, Stephanie Congdon Barnes, writes that the work helped her to perfect the art of noticing beauty and finding simplicity in her daily life.

"All that was loud—be it the cries of a child undone by his inability to tie his shoes, the storm beating at the window, the sight of the day's heavy workload, the weight of an emotional loss—was quieted by that click of the shutter.

It is my hope that our photos engender a culture of noticing, that they don't represent something lovely and out of reach to the viewer, but instead illuminate what is beautiful at her own breakfast table. People have described the connections between the photos as magic and cosmic. This, I feel, is not Maria's or my doing. The magic belongs to the viewer."

The magic in their work is the celebration of those domestic details that are there in most of our lives, in different manifestations, that go un-noticed. As Barnes writes, "the way the light was falling on the breakfast dishes, the rings of water on the counter, a drawing or toy left behind..."

Only now, I realize the enchantment of my grandparent's home was the attention to the details of the garden, the sewing, preparing food, striking piano keys, helping neighbors and taking time for private prayer. Someone was always up before the sun. Chocolate milk was heated on the stove for me in the morning. Butter was brought home for lunch that my grandfather made that morning. Grapes were grown on vines. Tomatoes were canned. Pillow cases were stitched with love. There was a romance to me about putting love into daily chores.

It makes sense to me that all places where people devote their existence to worship and meditation (Ashrams, Convents, Monasteries) suggest chores—scrubbing floors, chopping wood, carrying water. There is something spiritual about carrying out the tasks that the day requires. My mom always says that pulling weeds is great mediation time. I am actually enjoying working in my house with this in mind.

The past few months, I've felt the weight of emotional losses at the same time that I've been on the road, away from what Barnes describes as "the inexplicable calm of domestic life." I realize now that photography has been grace for me during this time, stepping stones in choppy water. It has helped me to stop, to notice and to hold on to glimmering sandcastles for a moment before they are washed away. Looking at photos from this time is bittersweet, like finding grains of sand in my shoes after a vacation I don't remember taking.


I am enjoying being with the details of my life that make me the most happy right now: my husband, my daughter, and little creative projects.

My hope is that when the holiday is over, I can continue notice more, be more present, be better.

Unplugged

We have officially billed the last hour, delivered the last client proofs, turned in the last grade, attended the last holiday party, mailed the holiday cards, picked up the last Christmas gift of 2008. Now, we are finally just enjoying the season. It was a marathon push, but I'm taking 2 weeks off for the first time in five years.



Tonight, we enjoyed dinner with family and getting out old knitting projects started long ago. My mother-in-law took these sweet photos of me and my daughter tonight: a rare photo of the two of us. (Usually, I am behind the camera.)





I hope all of you have some time with the people you love right now and that you have a peaceful holiday.






What is it that Mary says at the Martini's house in, It's A Wonderful Life?
"Bread that your house may never go hungry, salt that your house will always have flavor and wine that joy and prosperity may reign forever."

I'm unplugging for a few days, but I will post updates on our December Daily Album soon.

Pop-Up Time

The shelving system collapsed in my daughter's closet last week, thankfully without anyone under it. After doing an inventory, it appears that it was the holiday book collection that put us over the weight limit. Even still, you can't have enough holiday books. Right? We are really enjoying working our way though our collection of holiday books, movies and music.


This week, we're turning the pages of:
Christmas At The Zoo.
You Are My Miracle
The Sweet Smell of Christmas
The Grinch
The holiday pop-up books from Robert Sabuda
The Berenstain Bears Trim The Tree
If You Take A Mouse To The Movies {aka The Popcorn Book in our house}
A Snowy Day
The Little Drummer Boy
Snow
Olive The Other Reindeer
Little Tree inspired by the sweetest poem by ee cummings

"The little tree had found his own special place that was waiting for him all his life." Chris Raschka

Here's a lovely list of holiday reading recommendations from SouleMama and another even better one here.

What are your favorite holiday books?

Cinematherapy

Speaking of commercials, I was changing out the laundry when this commercial came on and had to sit down. It is comic perfection. My favorite is when the family wears their snuggies to the ball park. My husband piped up at the point and said, "Ah, oh. Here come the Snuggies."

I Need A Claus Makeover

This commercial could not be any better.


Palm Centro Commercial - Anthem - The most amazing home videos are here

Healing Things

1. The Hotel Cafe Presents: Winter Songs



2. Cipriani Parapadelli Pasta

3. Photographs like these of the joy of being a momma.

4. Visits to places like this.

5. Inspired shopping guides for children like this one.

6. Simple suppers like ratatouille from the Moosewood Cookbook.

7. The promise of books unread. A list of the year's 10 best from the NYTimes is here.

10. Bolla Valpolicella - it's cheap, perfect red table wine for any occasion. Like a field trip to Roma.

11. Good friends like these who are taking time to live full time. Love their post here about making a holiday wreath.

12. Pink Christmas Trees.


13. Being home.


14. Songs of Joy & Peace from Yo Yo Ma and also this one from Sixpence None The Richer. Though, I have to say, if looking for a Joni Mitchell remake of River, look no further than Corrine Bailey Rae's version on the Herbie Hancock record River: The Joni Letters.

As I drove to court this morning in another county, snow was falling and I listened to Corrine singing,
"It's coming on Christmas. They're cutting down trees. Their putting up reindeers and singing songs of joy and peace. I wish I had a river I could skate away on." I know it's crazy, because I don't know her, but I say prayers for her from time to time knowing this will be the first Christmas since she has lost her husband: a loss I cannot imagine.

15. Old Ornaments


16. New Ornaments



Here's to peaceful winter evenings.

Letting Her Go: A Eulogy

A new post for Skirt!


---------------
I've received many emails and calls about expressions of sympathy. I can't tell you how much that means to me and my family. We've asked in lieu of flowers for donations
in memory of Pauline Faith to go to:

Meals on Wheels
Daviess County Senior Services
Elizabeth Munday Center
1650 West Second Street
Owensboro, KY 42301

If you would prefer to donate online or to a different chapter, you can do so online here:
Meals on Wheels

**As an aside, Elizabeth Munday (for whom the center mentioned above is named) was a great lady too. I adored her and her stories about her travels and visiting with the Peabody ducks. I would be such a different person had I not been blessed by knowing so many wise women who approached 100 years in age ...Aunt Ivy, Elnora Schoppenhorst, Ms. Munday and now Grandmom. My other Grandmother who died in 1995, didn't make it to 90, but she was wise and amazing, too.